Hey, Ben and Gracie here! We got a chance to sit and chat with some of the readers. They had a lot of questions to ask, and we did our best to answer all. Scroll down to see our answers!
ELLIE: Hi Benny and Gracie! So what have you guys been up to? How is parenting two kids rather than one? Anything new?
BEN: A lot
GRACIE: By that, he means working.
BEN: Hey, you’re the workaholic.
GRACIE: I’m not. Benny, the workaholic. Anyway, we have been up to a few things. Working and raising a small family. It’s fun, actually. Probably because I have help from family and our neighbors.
*whispers* Don’t tell Benny, but I think I want another baby.
BEN: I heard that.
GRACIE: Is that a yes?
BEN: It’s a, I’ll think about it.
MEGHAN: Do they still spar occasionally. Seems like it was such a big part of them originally.
BEN AND GRACIE: *stare at each other* No.
BEN: Cos she’s busy.
GRACIE: Well, he’s not wrong. But things have changed a lot. Our schedules are different, and when we do get to spend time together, I just want to be in his arms. But we do exercise/workout together whenever we can.
JENAE: What was Ben’s true thoughts after Gracie left for New York? Like were you full of regret… did you immediately know you chose wrong?
BEN: Not immediately. Thinking about it, I was acting from a place of hurt. My shared trauma with Olivia largely influenced my decision, which shouldn’t have been the case. But as soon as I got a chance to process everything, I realized I had fucked up. I had a lot of regrets. Can you imagine doing all of that for someone who didn’t feel the same? Yeah, it was an eye-opener.
As crazy as everything that happened was, I wouldn’t have wished for it to happen any other way. Why? Because it brought me closer to my mom and Josef. Gracie’s absence made me vulnerable. In that state of mind, I opened up to my parents.
JENAE: Love this answer. It’s easy to side with your own trauma response and defend it tirelessly. I’m almost willing to bet it blocks out empathy towards the other person because in those moments you are so sure of your motives.
MARAMARTHA: Yes, this. You captured it perfectly. In that moment, his trauma overtook his love/empathy for her.
JENAE: Gracie, why the second chance? Truly would like to know. Being picked over by a friend… much less another girl. How’d you get past those feelings?
GRACIE: Honestly? The pressure from all sides. But majorly because I was never over him. You know how they say the heart wants what it wants? That was my case. It hurt a lot. I still can’t think about it without wincing a bit.
When we did get back together, I had lots of doubts. I would ask myself what if he did it again. But as we got to connect, learn more about each other, I realized he didn’t do it out of love for Olivia (like I had thought). It was a stance of solidarity. Talking to Liv also helped. It made it easier to get over it. Because they weren’t in love. They were just two people who had suffered similar trauma and stuck together.
Knowing all these just made all those jealousy and insecurity disappear. Ben too. God, I love him. He makes me so content in my own skin and never gives me a reason to doubt or worry. When I have all of that, it’s hard to harbor those feelings from the past.
JENAE: This is why you’re one of my faves girls.
GRACIE: *whispers* Don’t tell the other readers, but you are one of my faves too.
HILARY: What is the best advice they both can give on letting go of the past in order to move forward?
BEN: Babe, do you want to answer that one?
GRACIE: She said best advice they “both”. That means both of us have to answer.
For me, I think forgiveness and love is key. You can’t move forward if you keep dragging baggage from the past wherever you go. And just so you know, forgiveness is a process. You think you’re over it but one bad memory can sneak up from nowhere, and you’re reminded of the past again. That’s where the love part comes in. In this case, the love for Benny helped me scale through those doubtful moments.
BEN: What she said
GRACIE: Babeeeee!
HILARY: Benny did you ever think how Gracie would feel when you chose Olivia over her numerous times?
BEN: No. I really wasn’t thinking toward that aspect. It was a trauma response. Like Jenae said and I agree, trauma won over empathy. If I had dealt with my trauma, my answer would have been a breeze.
No, this is not an excuse. I was a potato back then.
GRACIE: An ugly potato.
BEN: Ugly? I’m going to tell your husband you called me ugly.
GRACIE: Yeah, where’s my husband?
HILARY: Gracie did you ever tell Benny you seen him with her and their family eating dinner together and that is what caused you to push away?
GRACIE: Oh, yes, I did. Later on, into book two. It was my fault for not telling him immediately, but he’s not completely blameless. He lied first.
BEN: And I’ve said I’m sorry multiple times.
GRACIE: *squints*
BEN: I love you.
GRACIE: Always and forever?
BEN: Always and forever!
HILARY: Did either of you think of ever confronting who you thought were your pen pal?
BEN: Not really. I liked the anonymity.
GRACIE: Yeah. A few times, but I never went through with it. Then I somehow ended up thinking it was Nate, so there was no point bringing it up again until we found out we had been writing each other.
BEN: She still writes me sometimes.
GRACIE: Hey.
*whispers* I love writing him.
HILARY: Planning on any more kids?
BEN: We started out wanting four, but Gracie didn’t have fun pregnancies, so we concluded on two.
GRACIE: For now, no. But sometimes, I want another.
BEN: She’s kidding.
GRACIE: Maybe. Maybe not.
HILARY: If you could both go back in time to fix one mistake from your past relationship excluding the big fight that made Gracie leave for New York what would it be?
BEN: I don’t know. I think the only thing I would fix is the dinner. The lie. I would have told her and let her come to her own conclusions instead of lying to protect her feelings which only ended up backfiring.
GRACIE: Really? That’s all?
BEN: Oh, I’m sorry. The bullying. That. Instant changing. But I don’t regret touching your finger during drama rehearsals.
GRACIE: He was in love back then. He just didn’t know it.
HILARY: Benny did you ever get that rematch you wanted so bad?
GRACIE: Benny is too much of a chicken to fight me. So, no.
BEN: Chicken, huh? Do chickens kiss like this?
GRACIE: *covers mouth* No kissing. It’s an interview. People are watching.
BEN: But they read all about it.
GRACIE: Oh, God. Just one kiss.
BEN: Two?
HILARY: Awww and this is why I love you guys!!!!!! So stinking cute
BEN: Gracie says thank you.
GRACIE: Benny, too.
